Great and successful families don’t just happen. I believe we all can live the best of life possible if we can receive and apply the divine wisdom we need every day. Even if we grew up in dysfunctional families, I strongly believe God wants us to change the story. We don’t have to perpetuate dysfunctional ways of living and then die without fulfilling our potentials. A great family is a great possibility.
There’s a reason for every family. And every couple needs to discover the divine purpose for their family. Proverbs 29:18 says, “Where there is no vision, the people perish…” It’s really unwise to start a family (or any enterprise for that matter) without a vision of what it will look like. Whether you’re single or married, I encourage you to capture the vision of God for your family. Without a vision, a man will abuse his wife. Without a vision, a woman will dishonor her husband. A lot of people get married for various reasons. When couples get married for all the wrong reasons, they’re simply asking for disaster! Relationships are generally difficult. How much more the romantic type?
When I was a single man, I came to a point where I really wished I was married. One day, I purposed to fast and pray for three days to seek guidance from the Lord. During the first day of fasting, I picked up the Bible for my daily devotion. Then I came to Proverbs 24:27. It says, “Prepare your outside work, make it fit for yourself in the field; and afterward build your house.” From this verse, the Holy Spirit let me know that I still needed more preparation to do prior to getting married.
I didn’t bother to continue the fast. I thanked the Lord for His guidance and went about making every necessary preparation I knew to make. I studied the Bible and prayed. I read extensively. I had books and tapes all over my bedroom. I attended several seminars designed for singles. I studied the lives of married couples around me. One day, the Lord spoke to me through Matthew 22:8. “The wedding is ready…” That was when I knew I was ready to be married. It was then I got a clear indication of who I was going to marry.
As you read the Bible, pay close attention to every family related issue. Highlight specific verses and meditate on them. Find out why some families are blesses and why some aren’t so blessed. For example, Priscilla and Aquila were mentioned by the Apostle Paul in Romans 16:3-5. He wrote, “Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus, who risked their own necks for my life, to whom not only I give thanks, but also all the churches of the Gentiles. Likewise greet the church that is in their house.” Do a study on couples like this.
Please devote yourself to prayers. Capturing God’s vision for your marriage or family isn’t enough. In fact, it’s a responsibility. You need the help of God to implement what he has shown you. Prayers connect us to God. Prayers enable us to draw power from God to handle our daily affairs. Prayers enable us to move through the challenges of relationships. Prayer will help you find your spouse. Prayer will help you love your spouse and children. While in courtship with then wife-to-be, we invested many hours into fasting and prayers. As a result, God assured me that we’re going to have a great marriage. I began to confess that on a regular basis. Even when all the circumstances were contrary, I always said, “We shall have a great marriage.” That declaration was based on faith in God and what the Word can do in a relationship.
I believe God wants us to build such families that bring Him glory, honour and praise. He will give you a vision for your marriage. He will help strengthen you for all He wants you to do as a father or mother. Study the Word and keep growing as Christ’s follower. All is well in Jesus’ name.
-Pastor Victor Adeola King