Some weeks ago, I read eulogies on a woman who passed on in July; she was a pastor’s wife.
She died of cancer.
I am always eager to hear, read and see what people have to say about a deceased, for no morbid reason of course but to know the kind of person the deceased was. Each read also reminds me of the inevitable end of all flesh. However, this woman’s eulogies stood out for me for I have never seen such faith in a person as I deduced from what her husband wrote about her. After he had written such glowing things about her, he mentioned her last words; here they are.
“It is well. God is too faithful to fail. Praise God!”
These words struck me. No, they jarred me to an awakening reality- what kind of trust can one have to say these things with the last breath of life? And what kind of love shall one have for God, who allows so much pain and suffering, that one would still conclude that He is too faithful to fail?
I have been pondering fleetingly on this. She was dying, in excruciating pain with no hope except that the Great Physician would heal. From the first day of her six-month ordeal, I believe she had an unwavering faith. Oh the amount of communion she must have taken in faith, the bottles of anointing oil that may have been used to anoint her, the saints who must have prayed tirelessly through nights for days on end. Six months of this terrible disease with hope that was not evidently repaid and yet, “God is too faithful to fail”? How?
I cannot presume to say I have trust in and love for God half as she did. I have not yet seen God as I believe she did (and this is my doing because I believe God is as close to me as I am to him) but I know I want to love and trust the Jesus that she knew, to trust Him like she did. I wonder, is it the same Jesus I claim to know that she so loved and trusted to her death? Do I really love Him? Do I trust Him? Am I really who I say I am- His daughter? Her example pricks my heart.
I salute her and saints like her. Perhaps the true heroes are really not the miracle commanding saints (which we all ought to be ordinarily), the eloquent preachers or the compassion-filled givers. Perhaps the true heroes are the dying saints who still love Jesus, the suffering saints who trust Him to not fail even when it seems there is nothing but fail on its way.
Oh Jesus, can I really know You to trust that even when things fail and it seems You have failed me, I will still judge You too faithful to fail?
I believe I can as I continue to seek after you!
– Patience Pwanahakei Khobe