Have you ever been in a situation where you are driving on what you call your sure lane (because over time you have used it and it has always worked) only to discover that taking your sure lane was a terrible mistake. For one reason or the other it just was not your day.
Or have you ever bought a one size fits all shirt only to find out you are an exception to the rule.
If you have been in any of these kinds of situations, I say welcome on board.
We live in a time when people are hungry for knowledge more than ever before. People are seeking knowledge from books, conferences, seminars etc. This is a great development I am really excited and happy about. I see young people in relationships (marriage or courtship), going for counseling programs, seminars and reading books together, in the bid to make their relationship work.
After getting all the information, we want to apply them in our marriage or relationship, but for some reasons we find out that this laws are not working for us. Is it that God’s word is not true anymore or the principles learnt don’t work?
Life has thought me that these principles work but they have to be applied uniquely.
Have you ever been in a Mathematics class where your teacher teaches you a topic and it seemed so simple then only to try applying the principles to the assignment given to you and find out the steps followed are not working anymore. I used to have that problem until God gave me a supernatural break through His word.
Let’s start by sharing the Basics you must know about every type of relationship before applying any counsel.
- Every Relationship involves two unique individuals
- Application of every rule or law guiding relationships, is unique
- Something that worked before in your relationship can fail when tried another time
- Every relationship is constantly evolving.
- Your relationship will become what you want after you have given it time to grow.
Every Relationship involves two unique individuals
Our thumb prints prove the fact that every human being is unique, unique in style, perceptions, reasoning, thinking etc. So also is every relationship because it involves two unique individuals too. No two weddings or families are the same in anyway. Appreciate the uniqueness of your partner and take time out to study it.
Application of every rule or law guiding relationships, is unique
Don’t expect that doing the same thing another person did in your own relationship will bring about same result, no matter how widely accepted and Bible based such rule is. Things always work differently in every relationship. Take for example the two fundamental facts about the place Love and Submission in a relationship.
The husband needs to Love the wife and the wife needs to Submit. Nevertheless Love and submission will not have same approach in two relationships. What a woman in a relationship with a liberal man will have to do to be regarded as submissive will be entirely different when compared to a relationship with a traditional African man. So also the way love is expressed by a westernized man is entirely different from a typical African man.
You cannot say he does not love me because he does not do this and this and that, you need to first check out the person involved and capabilities. As basic as some things may be, they are strange to some others. Our backgrounds are different.
Sometime we even assume too much about our partners.
My prayer is that this few words will mark the beginning of healing in as many relationships as need to be healed.
See you next week for more on this very interesting topic that touches my heart.