We want to have a marriage where the relationship is based on friendship, yet he wants to be KING and she wants to be QUEEN.
For a lot of my African readers, you will agree with me that the African culture tells the man he is superior. Some cultures emphasize the man’s Lordship more than ever others.
The man believes the wife should be submissive to him as the Bible demands, and the woman expects to be loved by her man.
What does this mean in practical terms and what price will be paid to attain?
Today we live in a world where man and woman work in partnership to get the home running. In some cases, the woman is as busy as the man or busier, yet the challenge of running the home lies on her. She is under so much pressure to deliver both at home and at work.
Sometime ago I was at a meeting organized for women, all the women in the group had one thing in common; STRESS! She gets up earlier, rushes to prepare the home for the day, gets to work and rushes back home to be there for the children, works till late in the night to prepare for the next day and the cycle continues. So the average woman needs so much make up to cover her stress or spoil herself so much to help her self-esteem and get herself to believe she is getting something for her labour.
The average woman believes she was not just meant to be a mother, so she wants to work and grow as fast as her male counterpart, have multiple streams of income, yet be the mother that holds it together and the wife that makes coming home the high point of the day for her husband.
This is a great dream with a very high PRICE, which is being ready to accept the challenges that come with this choice.
You need to be able to classify every matter as SOLID, LIQUID and GAS. SOLID relates to the essentials, LIQUID important yet not so essential and GAS what you can do without; the vanities of life.
I am like that woman and I know the price is very high. Sometimes the price is your spiritual or physical health, or being misunderstood by people around, even your spouse, or even your purpose for setting out into the this cycle in the first place. Being this hyper active woman might mean not being there for your children all the time, so you want to give quality to every time you spend with them. You want to stamp in them the fact that you love them even while apart, you need to review your VALUE system and say to yourself, what is that one thing I need this children to know even if I do not teach them anything and set out to achieving it.
Above all, to be treated as a Queen, you need to make your husband feel like a king. This is very difficult when you are so stressed all the time or you are not getting the right treatment from your spouse but then you need to realize that this is a SOLID part of the matter. You need to be at peace with your husband to function optimally even within the home. You need to evaluate the price of peaceful co-existence with your spouse and pay it. You may need a loan from the Holy Spirit to do this. Remember: a wise woman builds her home. She is wise because she does things at the right time and when she fails to, she can admit her mistakes and get better.
Finally, as Christian woman whatever takes us away from God is really not worth it. We need Christ at the centre of our being to get things really working. We cannot afford to be too busy for the kingdom.
The scripture remains the same yesterday, today and forever. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God …..Matt 6:33
As we seek him, my prayer is that we find Him and the Peace He promised us.
Have a week full of new discoveries of God’s Love, Peace and Joy!