Most Marriages fail because people go into this lifetime journey with unrealistic expectations from their spouses. I know it breaks our heart when our spouses are not measuring up to our expectations like; the way we want them to listen to us when we have things on our mind to purge out, the way we admire a calm and a gentle prince charming but here’s a talking Tom, the sleeping beauty you married that has suddenly become a sleeping beast and so on….
In marriage, we launch into it expecting certain things and of course no one in his or her right senses will look at his intended partner and say, “oh my love I know that a lifetime with you will make my life miserable on every area, such that I will want to just die. Will you marry me?” it is not possible, because even if you know that your spouse is not perfect, you still hope that things can move on fine even in your differences. We expect our spouse to be faithful to us, trustworthy and honest. We also expect our spouse to love us unconditionally, to understand with our shortcomings, to make excuses on our behalf and possibly go a little extra mile to add the color of rainbow to our life. I have been opportune to speak with young singles who in their state of despondency concluded that their major concern is to just get married and they’ll be fulfilled. I always tell them that marriage is not a source of joy but rather it is God in your life that gives you joy. (COLOSSIANS 1:27). You must have been well groomed for excellence before marriage for you to enjoy this special institution. I stumbled on a post sometimes ago which says;
“Most people get married believing a myth that marriage is beautiful box full of all the things they have longed for; Companionship, intimacy, friendship etc … The truth is that marriage at the start is an empty box, you must put something in before you can take anything out. There is no love in marriage, love is in people, and people put love in marriage. There is no romance in marriage; you have to infuse it into your marriage. A couple must learn the art, and form the habit of giving, loving, serving, praising, of keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty.”
The coming together of a good spouse should be the icing on the cake…do you get it?
– Janet Funmi Jacob